Store Manager

Age: 38
Favorite Item: Diabetic Socks
Specialisation: Wordsmith

    About Me

    Rob is the podcasts host. His role is to command the field, ensuring that sad onions are identified, items are ripped to shreds and the wonky trolley wheel of fate is spun. Rob does the first edits of the show, creates the videos for YouTube and generates most of the social media posts. 

    An expert in identifying the unknown and serial peeler of sad onions, Rob likes to spend his days talking to strangers about the benefits of burning bakhoor in the home. Rob’s claim to fame is that he cooked a whole chicken using nothing more than roll of gaffer tape, half a basketball and a 2Kw oil radiator. He served this up to celebrity chef and shoplifter, Anthony Worrall-Thompson. 


    Rob works as a team all on his own. He can co-ordinate his hands and feet independently of each other. This comes in handy when juggling, raiding middle aisles or just generally getting about.

    When he’s not using his hands and feet, Rob can be found lying on his bed. He claims he’s been unconsciously meditating for years this way, just lying in silence trying not to think about anything. Whilst this does sound like meditation, its probably more like procrastination. Rob assures us that the two are the same and an integral part of his self development rituals.

    Recognised as a social chameleon for many, many years. Rob can blend seamlessly into social situations without question or suspicion. He once worked in a bakery for two whole weeks before anyone questioned why there were never any Cornish Pasties left.


    Management 90%
    Time Keeping 10%
    Waffle Ability 90%
    Free Time Spent in the Middle Aisle 61%
    Go top